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4th August 2002
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Virtual Edinburgh - The worlds first Virtual Comedy Festival Comedian/iene

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Exclusive Interviews With Stars Of The Fringe - More Added Daily.

 NEIL MULLARKEY
Neil Mullarkey
Neil is back in Edinburgh with a mullet and a message: don't be needy, be succeedy! He's appearing as L. Vaughan Spencer, a life coach, motivator and self-help guru. So if you're not pushing the envelope quite as much as you'd like, get along to his show at the Assembly Rooms.

THE QUESTIONNAIRE

1. What’s so great about you/your show?
Everyone is great and I aim to help everyone realise how great they are. Yes, that does require me to be even greater, but I am. I am a Succeeder and I want to help everyone become Succeedy, even total losers.

2. Where’s it on & when?
Don't Be Needy, Be Succeedy. Assembly Rooms - Wildman Room 8pm. Aug 2 - 26

3. What’s the funniest joke you’ve ever heard - or told?
What's the funniest joke you've ever heard? Sometimes, jokes can hurt people and that's not what I'm about. Having said that, though I do remembering hearing a very funny one about a tomato and an ironing-board but I've forgotten the rest. It may have featured a librarian or a budgie as well

4. What was your grubbiest Fringe Experience?
I have never been to the Fringe before. I don't normally attend such gatherings of grubby young people. I have just returned from the Whole Soul Fest in California. Everyone was there to clean their souls, bodies and minds. I managed to get in touch with my Inner Dolphin.

5. What will you be buying with the mountain of cash you’re going to make from Edinburgh?
The L. Vaughan Spencer Foundation is a not-for-profit organisation which helps people become succeeders. I do take a salary, however, so don't go thinking I'm poor or anything.

6. What’s the best heckle you’ve ever had?
People rarely heckle at my Self-Enhancement workshops because they are about delving deep into oneself and looking at the higher things in life. Besides, if they do heckle they are ejected, strip-searched and prosecuted.

7. Do you have trouble adjusting to reality after Edinburgh (or ever, for that matter)?
What is 'reality'? What is 'after'? What is 'trouble'? If questions were answers and answers were questions, then how much more would we know the answers. I think.

8. What’s your favourite party trick?
At parties I like to dance - the Succeeder Dance. It is based on the rain-dances and war-dances of primitive societies. I learnt it from their shamen and witchdoctors. In return I taught them how to play knockout whist.

9. Does your Mum (or indeed any other family member) think your job is cool?
My Uncle Derek is a great supporter. We went on an Uncle & Nephew Weekend in a forest near Watford and bonded during various activities - lemur-wrestling, Virtual Charades and Off-Ground Tig. He taught me everything I know about being an entrepreneur. He owns a sweet-shop in Guildford. He is a Succeeder.

10. Is there anything else we should know?
If only we tried to know less and feel more then how happy we would be. Although it would be good if you knew my website address http://www.thesucceeder.com/

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